omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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