It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
