she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
