I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
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This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize