I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
