Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
