Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
