i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
