Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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