Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It's like God shit irony all over that family
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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