Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
