Grow some girl-balls and come out already
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
