Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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