Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
