id be glad to
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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