Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
It's no shave November. This is our time.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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