So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
