Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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