For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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