Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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