Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
