I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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