He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
