I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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