bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
