What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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