woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
