It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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