Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
