we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize