I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
