ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
