This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
