all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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