Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
