he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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