Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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