my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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