we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
