My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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