16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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