I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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