Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
