found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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