I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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