Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
