I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
