is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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