I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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