If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Say something about gay babies.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
