I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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