If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
