Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
