Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
