idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
