i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
