A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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