I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
