No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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