I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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