Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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