This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
