barbara walters just said penis...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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