YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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