you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
