So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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