i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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