Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
