Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
