she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
