Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
