Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
